Lucky Girl

I just got back in Durango after a weekend adventure with two of my best (and oldest) friends in Santa Fe. We realized this weekend that we have been friends for 20 years! Seeing as how we are only 30 years old - I think that is pretty impressive! They are so much more than "friends" at this point. They are absolutely family. They are my sisters. We have been through so much together since we first met. We spent the whole weekend relaxing and talking (maybe drinking a little too much - Damn Courtney and her "Margarita Tour through Santa Fe") It was just what I needed to help restore some balance after the last few crazy months. They always know exactly what to do and say to get me to laugh (we usually make a huge joke out of everything going on in our lives). I'm so thankful to have such great people in my life. I truly am a lucky girl.

One Day At A Time

Life can be such a whirlwind. Sometimes I actually have to stop and remind myself to slow down and take things one day at a time. For someone who admittedly has no patience that is not always an easy thing to do. I think it is important to try to not get so caught up in all of the planning for the future that you miss out on the right now though. I found out yesterday that my odds of still being able to have a baby are really good. The doctor also said that we should start trying ASAP to give me the best chance possible. I'm so excited about starting the adoption process though that I really want to do both at the same time. Unfortunately, I just found out that if I get pregnant before our adoption is complete then we have to wait until our biological child is 1 year old before we can continue the adoption process. Why can't life just be easy? Why can't I just have my cake and eat it too? So now we need to make some decisions about how to handle all of the potential "what ifs" involved and decide whether we want to wait to start the adoption process or take the risk of being in the middle of the process and deal with having to put it on hold if I get pregnant before it is completed. I have faith that it will all work out... I just still need to find the patience to deal with waiting to see how it will all work out. I'm like one of those horrible kids that you see reading the last page of a new Harry Potter book in the middle of the book store on the day that it first comes out because they can't wait to read the whole book. Okay maybe I'm not that bad :)

I Just Found Fried Chicken In My Purse...

I think that finding 3 day old fried chicken (thankfully in a ziplock) in my purse says something about my where I am at mentally right now. Truthfully it probably says more about my organizational state - but anyone who knows me knows that when my life isn't organized it means that something is off. I have so many things that I am excited to get started on: my photography business and starting a family to name the big one's. It just feels like everything is in limbo right now. I know that I don't have control over everything that is going on and I can't just snap my fingers or click my heals and make my dream child appear before me and make my photography business be flourishing enough for it to be my only job (I know this because I have tried that whole snapping your fingers/clicking your heals thing and it really only works in the movies). I do have faith that everything happens for a reason and that what we are going through right now is teaching me to have the patience that I will need to get me through the process of adopting.

On a really happy note - TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING!!! I might have lived in Colorado for the last 4 years, but there is still California blood running through these veins! I am SOOO ready for summer and sunshine, sitting on my deck and drinking a glass of wine after work and finally being able to wear my flip flops to work again (yes I am allowed to wear flip flops to work - how cool is that?!). I even wore a really "springy" top to work today to encourage Mother Nature to bring on the great weather. Happy Spring everyone!

Blogger Virgin No Longer

So this is what it is like to post a blog! I decided to create this blog after furiously researching adoption and reading blog after blog of families who are at some point in their adoption process. I guess I never really even considered having a blog (probably because I never felt like I needed to say anything). Now I do. I actually need to say so much that I don't even know where to start. As I write this I am waiting for test results to see if I still have a chance of being able to carry a baby and whether or not their is major surgery in my near future. After more than 2 weeks of waiting for these elusive test results I have actually found some peace with the "worst case scenario" which oddly enough doesn't seem like such a terrible "scenario" after reading so many inspiring adoption blogs. I have actually always wanted to adopt. My oldest brother is adopted. I always thought that it was a very cool thing for my parents to do and that it made my brother extra special. After a few weeks of research I feel very drawn to international adoption - specifically Ethiopia. In fact, the weirdest thing ever happened to me while I was researching Ethiopian adoption. I logged on to Yahoo Travel to research a flight for someone at my office and the featured travel destination of the day was Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Too weird! I had never even heard of Addis Ababa before beginning adoption research. If that isn't a sign... I don't know what is!

So this blog will hopefully serve as a little extra free therapy for me (on top of what my wonderful friends have already provided) as Andy and I start our family and re-prioritize our lives. (Funny how scary medical problems make you re-think your priorities in life, huh?) I feel like I have already made some great friends through this crazy world of blogging and I can't wait to make some more.